Food, Happiness, Questions

Kue, lilin, kembang api, pesta, canda, tawa.

Perayaan.

Satu hari yang (seharusnya) biasa saja, menjadi suatu hal yang spesial. Terlalu spesial.

Pedang bermata dua.

Saat mendapatkan hal yang menyenangkan, karena merasa hari tersebut merupakan hari yang spesial, terasa lebih menyenangkan berkali-kali lipat.

Saat mendapatkan hal yang menyebalkan, karena merasa hari tersebut merupakan hari yang (seharusnya) spesial, terasa lebih menyebalkan berkali-kali lipat.

Sekali lagi, pedang bermata dua. 

I Simply Can't

Let’s just say I can’t. I simply can’t.

Doing the exact same thing in an exact same hole again. I simply can’t.

It’s not about being a boy and ain’t supposed to cry.

(what the hell is wrong with being a boy and crying anyway?)

It’s not about being a boy and feel ashamed ‘cause the girl could do it.

(what the hell was that even mean?)

It’s not about you people, it’s about me.

I simply can’t.

Those irrational arguments.

Those irrational reasons.

Those irrational shouts.

Those... anything irrational you could throw at us, at them, at me.

I simply can’t.

I expect a different thing. It’s a one year difference for God’s sake.

But then, It’s the exact same thing with the same old reason.

I tried, to be honest. I tried.

But I can’t. I simply can’t.

It’s not being brave, it got nothing to do with it.

It’s about keeping my sanity.

So?

I can’t.

I simply can’t.

Home is...

I’m at home.

After all those stupid unfortunate events, I could reach my home afterall.

Home where I spent most of my time as a high-schooler.

Home where my parent and my littler brother is.

Home.

Home sweet home.

Is it?

Some say that “home is where the (figurative) heart is”.

I agree. As a college student who lived not-so faraway from a place where he spent most of his time as a high-schooler, I agree.

But then, time changes.

(Sometimes) I feel weird. Feel weird to this place, to this so-called home.

At my home, I miss my that-place-where-I-stay-in-not-so-faraway-place.

At that place, I miss my home.

Funny. But that’s what I feel.

Then, what’s home for me?

Some place that I’ll miss but couldn’t live in it?

Utopia?

Am I overexaggerating this thing?

Maybe. I guess.

So... home, eh?

"Rubber"

People hate me, people love me.
People only love the new me, the unused one. The tight one.
People hate the old me, the used one. The stretched one.

People hate me, people love me.
People only look for the new me, the unused one. The tight one.
People ignore the old me, the used one. The stretched one.

People hate me, people love me.
People only admire the new me, the unused one. The tight one.
People dissapointed at the old me, the used one. The stretched one.

People hate me, people love me.
People pay high for the new me, the unused one. The tight one.
People pay low for the old me, the used one. The stretched one.

People hate me, people love me.
People use me, people throw me.

People hate me, people love me.
The used one, the unused one.
The stretched one, the tight one.

People hate me, people love me.

"You ever think about the future?"

TLoU - American Dream

Have I ever think about my future?

Sometimes, yeah.

But to be honest, I’m afraid about it.

I’m afraid about my future.

Why?

Optimism

At least we’re still on one bed.

At least we’re still in one room.

At least we’re still on one floor.

At least we’re still in one house.

At least we’re still on one street.

At least we’re still in one city.

At least we’re still in one province.

At least we’re still on one island.

At least we’re still in one country.

At least we’re still in one continent.

At least we’re still in one planet.

At least we’re still in one solar system.

At least we're still alive.

At least we’re still exist.

At least we're still thinking.

At least we’re still...

At least...

...

Exam Thought

Why you didn’t do it?
Wait, what?

On the exam, why don’t you just... “cheat”?
Because I don’t like it?
Wait, who the fuck are you anyway?

I’m you, stupid.
You? Me? Wait, what?

Try to use that head of yours.
Hmmm...

...
Ah! From that time, eh?

Yep, now answer the question.
What question?

Holy-
Hahaha. Relax, relax...

Then answer it, dammit!
Yeah yeah. So... I didn’t do it because... well, ‘cause I don’t like it.

But noboy cares...
But I care. It’s about MYSELF.

Oh, come on. Nobody cares about how, they only care about the result.
Of course. But it’s not about them. It’s about ME.

Stubborn little asshole, aren’t you?
But I’m you. Remember?

...
HAH!

Back to the topic. Why you didn’t do it? It’s simple, it’s easy, no one cares. Only you and God knows about it.
Well, but if I let it happen, then it’ll eat me from the inside.

Such a poet, aren’t you?
Shut up.
But, for real. It ain’t that simple. Some people may ignore this thing, but me? I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.

But you do this kind of thing, right?
“Did” would be the right grammar. That’s not so long time ago though. But, hey, people changes, right?

If you said so...
Yeah.

...
Wait- just like that?

Yep.
Uh... so... bye?

Bye.
...